AAaaahhhh Surgery! I wasn’t nervous, this was my 8th time going under for surgery. And you know what I thought of on the way there? I can opt out of the Valum, they won’t force me to take it especially if I don’t seem nervous. I had to be there at 8am, we ended up getting there early around 7:30 which was the actual time I was supposed to be there because I was the first procedure of the day. They all seemed excited about this for some reason. I didn’t think that was exciting, it would be nice for them to have a warm up round or two first.
We got all checked in and I had to change into a hospital gown and socks. My sweet boyfriend Chris put my socks on for me. Then 7,000 nurses came by to ask the same questions “Do you have any piercings in? Are you allergic to any medications? What’s your date of birth?” That part sucked but my doctor came by to discuss a different kind of tubal ligation. They could remove my tubes completely; it will help prevent me from getting ovarian cancer. I said sure as long as I could see them after pulling them out. They said yes and didn’t think that was weird. I know it’s a little weird and sounds really serial killer of me but I think the inside of the human body is interesting, probably because you never get to see the insides. And don’t worry they left my ovaries in.
They gave me an IV and Chris is very squeamish so he had to look away. He’s lucky he did, she had to draw blood also and put this changeable IV port type needle in my arm. She had to screw and unscrew the tubes to it to take my blood and get the IV started and whenever she unscrewed it blood would pour out! That was pretty weird. Usually they have a thing to stop you from bleeding everywhere. Maybe she was new. He is probably reading this part jerking around and going eeewwww. Love you honey, if you made it reading this far there’s no other gross stuff.
They took me back to the operating room which was totally new for me. In my previous surgeries I was already under by the time I got in there. Its freezing cold and there’s huge lights everywhere. I started to get nervous when I was in there, I think just the intimidation of all the people and the sterile serious surgical atmosphere.
It hurt when I woke up, they woke me up to see my Fallopian tubes but I was too out of it to look as much as I wanted. They look a lot different than I imagined. They’re pretty big, like 3 inches long and an inch wide on the wider end. The tissue looks similar to what’s on the inside of your mouth, very pink and squishy looking.
I fell back asleep for a little bit and woke up again still in a lot pain so they upped my pain meds. I asked if I could roll over onto my side and the nurse said no! It was really hard to lay on my back because I felt like I was straining my legs to keep my self in place, I could also feel this in my stomach. I think it was probably just the shock of the anesthesia because as I woke up more and everything started to ware off it really didn’t hurt THAT bad. It hurt and was uncomfortable but if they didn’t give me any pain meds I would have survived without complaint.
Nurses kept coming by and typing on the computer and I kept trying to sleep more. Finally they let me lay on my side and said they don’t know why I was told I couldn’t. Maybe I imagined it, who knows, I was a little out of it. Just mad at an imaginary person who wouldn’t let me roll over. There’s always one asshole nurse or doctor anyway so maybe I made mine up haha.
Getting up and walking was really weird, my abdomen felt like it was really heavy. Like I was being pulled down. I had to pee before I left so I had to walk to the bathroom. The part before we left the hospital was really vague, I can only remember snippets like I had to pee before I left but I don’t remember how I got to the bathroom. A nurse showed me pictures of what they were looking at through the Laparoscopic tools. All I can remember is looking at wet pink stuff. I remember waking up and thinking “Ouch, where’s my boyfriend?” like somehow he would make me feel better. I think he helped me get dressed? Or the nurse did? I left in clothes so that’s nice.
After we got home I tried to eat a cheese burger. It didn’t go well. They intubated me (put a breathing tube down my throat) I have no idea why, that was a first and it doesn’t make any sense that they would do that for a 10 minute procedure. My throat was very very sore and swollen and I had a bunch of cuts in my mouth and on my lips. And I was very dehydrated. So I chewed my little cheeseburger and tried to swallow and it literally didn’t leave my mouth. I had to put a bunch of water in my mouth and chew it up with the water put more water and swallow, like a mouth made cheeseburger shake. Obviously I was super hungry and very determined to eat this dumb cheeseburger. I am embarrassed to say it was a McDonalds cheeseburger, I haven’t eaten one since high school but they are delicious and since my guts were already messed I was like fuck it, I’ll eat one. So that was a part of motivation. I knew I wouldn’t eat another one haha. I picked a really crappy time to indulge though.
I literally slept all day. I woke up drank some water, took some meds, kissed Chris and went back to sleep like 4 times. Luckily for dinner we had soup and ice cream, much easier to eat.
It’s a weird concept to think people are doing things to your body while you’re asleep. I noticed they had a hard time putting a second IV in my arm because I have 4 poke marks in different spots on my hand. I’ve had a lot of surgeries and blood draws so my under elbow isn’t a good spot anymore. I told them my wrist and my hands are the best spot for a second one before they put me under so at least they didn’t try my under elbow too. They’re always weird about putting them in the top of your hands because “it’s uncomfortable” but who care’s I was sleeping and they just ripped my baby maker out, why would I care about a poke in my hand?
Here’s some pictures for the experience. After I got my gown on when we first got there Chris started taking a picture of me and I was like Are You Serious? but he said I looked happy and he wanted a picture. Now I’m glad he took it, I’m actually smiling (pre-drugs and everything). The other 2 are after with the bandages still on to show the swelling.