dating · polyamory · Tying my Tubes

Being Supportive Beyond Your Own Desires

So if you’ve read my posts about getting my tubes tied you notice I mention my boyfriend a few times. He was incredibly supportive through the whole thing. Supporting my choice to get it done, never once argued with me about it, took me to the surgery, took me home and took care of me the day I had it done. You’ve probably also heard me mention he wants kids.

Lets think about this for a second. This person wants to be with me for the rest of my life and wants to bare children of his own blood line someday, yet he supported me making a permanent decision to never be capable of making his children. He still wants to spend his life with me, even after I went through with the surgery. He did express that he prefers I not have the surgery and have his kids but not in a pushy or angry way. Just a hey in case you want to know, I love you but if you didn’t do this that would be ok with me. He selflessly put aside something that he wanted so that he could be there for me because he loves me. I am a lucky girl and I didn’t think this should go unmentioned. We should all be lucky enough to have a supportive partner.

I think this is how relationships should be, you want to support your partner in their happiness and journey through life because it’s not your life, it’s theirs and they are choosing to have you in it. You should consider their wants beyond your own and how they can fulfill them. This is largely how we have structured our whole relationship and I enjoy it very much. I am not saying there should be no compromise, there definitely should. Participating in things that hurt themselves or others isn’t in this ballpark. If your partner is harming themselves or others obviously use your discretion.

In our case, we are in an open relationship so he can choose to develop a serious relationship with another person and have children with them. We would form our relationship around that structure to get his needs met. This is the compromise and I am very supportive of him having children with someone else. If this is something he feels strongly about I would like to provide that for him in a way that works for everyone. Luckily for us there are others out there like us who believe in multiple relationships at a time and this is a real possibility.