dating

When Girls Approach Boys

I’m not a shy young lady, if I am interested in someone I’ll talk to them, flirt with them, ask them for their number, ask them for a drink, make my intentions clear, all that good stuff. Males are human beings just like I am, they have preferences and lives of their own so I’m not afraid of rejection. We’re just not compatible or it’s not good timing. Also there’s a lot of fish in the sea, if that ones not interested it’s ok, no hard feelings.
I’ve noticed though that when I’m the one who does the approaching I’m treated differently. Almost like the guy is lazy or he thinks I’m a dumb whore. For example a cute guy is at a bar. I make conversation, the conversation goes well and I’ll say something like “Wanna grab a drink sometime?” then we exchange phone numbers and probably text the next day or two making small talk about our day. Then out of the blue I’ll get a text that says “come over”. I don’t know if it’s the new thing in dating, I’ve heard about this Netflix and chill thing but I don’t like that. I’m not into one night stands. There’s nothing gratifying to me about hooking up with a total stranger once or twice. In my opinion sex isn’t good until you’ve learned about each other. Up until that point it’s a lot of fumbling around and trial and error. So I need to make sure I like your personality enough you keep you around.
There are other factors I think might contribute to this laziness/whore assumption, I have a boyfriend and I’m a highly sexual person. I get it, the monogamous world just thinks open relationships are an excuse to sleep around. And obviously it’s open so that you have the freedom to sleep with other people but it’s not like a unlocked door, where anyone that turns the knob can get in. It’s more like a locked door, you have to be given a key to get in and there are specifications on who gets a key. Just like you would have specifications on who gets a key to your house. And being a highly sexual person is like having a house that’s designed for entertaining. You invite people over on occasions to have a good time but you wouldn’t invite people who you think are going to trash your house and probably not total stranger unless they are a guest of a friend.
I noticed if I let a man fully pursue me they don’t act like that, even knowing that information. I mean in 2015 you’d think I wouldn’t have to pretend the man is somehow charming me into this. I could acknowledge that I am a person interested in dating on my own terms.
Yes, yes, not all men are like this and when I find one that isn’t I appreciate them.

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One thought on “When Girls Approach Boys

  1. I agree!
    Because women do not typically go up guys, it’s not off putting; but rather surprising to them. I also think it’s just more likely that if we (women) go for a guy first, we have more chances of picking a guy who is just going with the flow vs when a guy perseus you then he has made up his mind in what he wants. True, not all guys, but in my experience it’s about where you do your picking. Picking up guys at bars/clubs vs guy you see at other type of social events (game socials, events and adventures etc.) or my favorite while he’s on the job flirt with him and get to know him enough to ask him out (this way takes the longest. Series of small but increasingly growing conversations over time).

    Good points ! Great read

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