polyamory

A Benefit of Open Relationships: The Other Women

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You’d think that’s what you’d be worried most about in an open relationship, the other women. I guess it depends on what kind of open relationship you have. I’m lucky enough that I get to connect with other potential partners of my partner sometimes and I’ve met some really awesome women.
Not to make it sound like my partner has done a ton of dating, some of the cool women I’ve met never made it past friends with him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s very pretty, he’s done his share of dating and given me a fair amount of women to meet. He’s truly my equal in the dating world. It’s just another thing I love about him.
You tend to have a type and date people that are similar to each other. I’m an independent, strong willed, liberated female and I love women like me. I approach all these women in the same way, we’re already friends we just haven’t met yet. If they are interested in my partner we already have something in common. In my opinion if you are looking at the other women as the enemy or someone to stay away from in general, non monogamy isn’t going to be easy for you. I’m not saying everyone your partner dates is going to be cool and level headed but if your approaching these women as someone not to be trusted in general maybe you should look at why you’re in an open relationship. This is just my opinion, everyone does what’s right for them and works best for their relationships and as long as no one is getting hurt I support that.
I want to share a little bit about some of these ladies I love:
I recently met Maggie Young. Like all girls, I internet stalk people. Especially girls my boyfriend goes on dates with. Maggie happens to be a writer so there was a lot to learn about her. She wrote a book called “Just Another Number” about her adventures in dating, an eating disorder, the military and self esteem. It was hard to keep my space and let them naturally develop into whatever they were going to be, waiting to be introduced. She sounded just like me. We have a lot of the same views, similar experiences and lots of other random things in common. I did ask him to get me her book though and he did. They didn’t end up seeing each other in a more than friends way but her and I still got a hold of each other and regularly send each other novels on Facebook messenger about our lives. I look forward to getting to know her better.
One of my favorite people in the whole world is Jenissa. I was blown away by her bravery, maturity and open mindedness. For my partner’s birthday he asked if the 3 of us could go to dinner, her and I had never met before. What an intense situation for a girl to walk into. We clicked right away though. We both have the same tough girl exterior, can poke fun at each other, cracking each other up about everything but still level and open up about our lives and feelings. She has been there for me a lot this past year. She is a truly beautiful person. I could not have asked for a better metamour dynamic. They dated for a while but things between her and boyfriend didn’t work out. We all still talk and hang out regularly.
My goth spirit animal, we hit it off because of our love of metal, black everything, kink and boys. We were on the same dating sites and used to recommend dates to each other based on personality. We’re all still friends, she found her love and is happily monogamous.
There’s been girls I wasn’t so excited about but that’s just basic math, I’m not going to love everyone my partner dates. In our relationship we don’t dictate who the other person dates unless it’s a special case, like we already know them. I feel it defeats the purpose of an open relationship, I want my partner to have the freedom to explore connections with other people. Telling him he can’t just because I don’t like her doesn’t feel right to me. If he doesn’t experience it then he might feel he missed out. We respect each other though, there is no cases where a new person disrespects one of us and gets to stick around.

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